Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Alzheimer's: Common insomnia treatment may prevent brain damage - Medical News Today

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Why did the Soviet Jews hate the Soviet Union?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I see through liars

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Whats the rule that makes "please" pronounced the same as "pleas"?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I actually pay taxes

Watch an asteroid the size of an aircraft carrier make a close pass of Earth on June 5 - Space

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Who are the IT boys of the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and 4th generation in K-pop?

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Evan Engram embraces the “Joker” role in the Broncos’ offense - NBC Sports

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

One Molecule to Sleep and Wake: A New Brain Switch Discovered - Neuroscience News

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Why is Russia always right? All eyes toward Russian glory!

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

401(k) Stats Suggest Americans Still Confident - Newser

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Why do I get spun and then want big fat cocks to suck?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Why do the Republican city officials at Springfield Ohio continue to deny that immigrants are eating pets to sabotage the Trump campaign, even though immigrant pet-eating is now widely believed to be true?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t buy bullshit

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Lighter than normal WWDC expected without significant Apple Intelligence uprgrades - AppleInsider

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I can count

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I can read

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I have a reading level above third grade

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane